Dragonheart

Minimum Wage

A well made medieval adventure film which is also partly a buddy picture – but in this case, the buddy makes all the difference. Sean Connery supplies the voice of Draco, last of the dragons and the most complexly animated character in the history of film.

The illusion of the dragon’s reality is 100% believable – except for the fact that, since he sounds like Connery, Draco sometimes comes off as just another puppet. Rob Cohen (whose last film was, coincidentally, Dragon) delivers another fine picture with mythical overtones – but the dragon’s the real reason to see this.

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Cemetery Man

Dig This!

Aka: Dellamorte Dellamore. Argento protégé Michelle Soavi steps firmly out from the maestro’s shadow with this 1994 exploration of the macabre black comedy he’d only hinted at in his previous films. Continue reading

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Deafula

No one can hear you scream

This is one of the rarest of all vampire films, which you see listed in a lot of movie guides but not many people have seen it. Most describe it as a version of the Dracula story performed in sign language, but I found it to be something quite different. Continue reading

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Broken Arrow

Die Hard … in Utah?!

Modern action movies have been compared to roller coaster rides, which is true in more ways than one. When you board a roller coaster, you pretty much know what to expect: you’ll be going up and down steep hills and around curves really, really fast. The trick is for the designers of the rides to keep you off balance and entertained with one thrill after another, so that the paying customers don’t feel cheated when they climb off the ride back at the same spot they started from.

One of the world’s best architects of cinematic thrill rides is Hong Kong director John Woo. In the mid-1980s, tired of the comedies and musicals that he was known for, Woo took a chance by directing the tough gangster saga A Better Tomorrow. That film’s overwhelming success led Woo to series of dense, exciting thrillers, climaxing with the action masterpiece Hard-Boiled. The stateside distribution of Woo’s previous film The Killer made him a household word among US action fans. In 1993 Woo helmed his first film for an American studio, Hard Target, which is still Jean-Claude Van Damme’s best picture.

Woo’s second American project finds him playing with a much bigger box of toys. Broken Arrow is the story of Air Force jet pilot Vic Deakin (John Travolta) and his plan to hold a major southwestern city for ransom with two stolen nuclear weapons. Deakin’s plan calls for him to steal the nukes during a training exercise in a stealth bomber over Utah, making it necessary that he murder his co-pilot and best friend Riley Hale (Christian Slater). Unfortunately for him, Hale escapes, and proceeds to screw up his plans at every opportunity.

The script by Speed‘s Graham Yost (with input from Woo and the production team) contains most of the key elements of standard action movies. The first scene of the movie shows Travolta and Slater sparring in the boxing ring – Slater loses the match because he didn’t “want it enough” – and we know that these two will be facing off hand-to-hand at the story’s end. We have the lone hero running around trying to stop the villain’s diabolical plan. We have the pretty girl caught up in the action (Samantha Mathis, as park ranger Terry Carmichael, reunites the Slater/Mathis team from Pump Up the Volume). And we have plenty of serial-style chases, well-choreographed combat, and things that blow up real good.

Woo has always had a fetish for explosives, and here he tops himself once again. The action takes place in a wide variety of vehicles – and Woo blows up darn near every one of them, including four helicopters. For at least the next few weeks, every time I see a helicopter in a movie, I’ll expect it to explode. And, although I don’t want to give away any surprises, the unwritten pact between movie and audience – “Show us a chainsaw and somebody better use it” – is strictly adhered to.

The Woo crew, realizing that the story is outlandish to begin with, instead concentrates on giving us plenty of bang for the buck – and gives the audience a wink while they’re doing it. Most of us have seen our share of renegade military nut cases, so Travolta’s character is played with plenty of humor. He’s not in it for the money or power, but mainly for the fun. Patron’s may balk a bit at the choice of Slater and Mathis as two-fisted action heroes, but to me that just makes their characters much more credible, as well as intensifying their underdog status (significantly, Travolta and his gang – including NFL star Howie Long – are all much taller). Kurtwood Smith (RoboCop) plays the role of the Pentagon chief surrounded by scores of worrying generals, taking advice from aide Giles Prentice (Pulp Fiction‘s Frank Whaley). Even these standard scenes are spiced with comedy.

Broken Arrow even looks different than previous action epics. Cinematographer Peter Levy (Blown Away, Predator 2) gives a rich, clean-edged look to everything. It’s a gorgeous movie to look at, as well as a thrilling one. And veteran composer Hans Zimmer (The Lion King, Thelma and Louise, and many others) also has gone out of his way to provide unusual music. His score is a satisfying mix of 007-style majesty and Dwayne Eddy guitar licks, with even a little bluegrass mischievously thrown into the mix.

Woo’s fans have worried that his move to America would dilute his power, but this particular partnership is a good one. Among Woo’s weaknesses are a tendency towards hilariously overplayed sentimentality. Since American action movies are more glib than sentimental, this weakness is tempered here – we feel the loss of Slater and Travolta’s friendship, without having to sit through any misty-eyed flashbacks. And then there’s fact that Woo sometimes reuses of his ‘trademark’ moves. Since many other directors have been copying Woo, some of these sequences have reached the point of cliché. The more leisurely production schedule seems to have allowed him to come up with fresh material, injecting a lot of excitement into the by-now rote formula of American action movies.

But most importantly, the folks at Fox seem to be on Woo’s side. They don’t want him to conform to their dull standards – rather, they appreciate his talents, and want to reap the benefits of what he can accomplish. After all, these are the people who let Jim Cameron loose with Aliens (and it was rumored they wanted Woo to direct the fourth Alien film).

Woo and his producer Terence Chang have spent the past few years learning the ropes of the American studio system. A younger John Woo might have been overwhelmed by the pressures of Hollywood, but he’s become too wise to lose himself that way.

The Killer is John Woo making a John Woo movie in Hong Kong. Hard Target is John Woo making an American movie. Broken Arrow is John Woo making an American movie with a lot more money. Here’s hoping that next time, it’ll be John Woo making a John Woo movie in America. And don’t forget to send him a box of dynamite for Christmas.

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From Dusk Till Dawn

Another Kind of Pulp Fiction

For the movies, the single most important individual of the ’90s is Quentin Tarantino. A few years ago, nobody had heard of him. But the success of the two features Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction have been not only an overwhelming influence on young directors, but their box office punch has given Tarantino himself extensive personal influence. This is good news for film fans, since Tarantino is such a huge fan himself, and has the talent and ability necessary to put what people want to see up on the screen. Continue reading

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Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace

Max Headroom Comes Home

In 1975, the Stephen King short story “Lawnmower Man” was published. An exercise in surrealism, it concerned an enormously fat groundsman for hire, who would trim lawns by stripping naked, getting down on all fours, and devouring the grass, along with anything else in his path. Continue reading

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Vampire Woman VHS

David “the Rock” Nelson’s “magnum oops-us” is a 4-hour Suck-athon

This is perhaps the toughest review I’ve ever had to write. How to describe the latest – and by far the longest – work of one of the most psychotronic producer/actor/writer/directors in the history of cinema? Those who have seen Nelson’s other works know that the trailers alone are enough to shatter the will of the average viewer. Then imagine the effect of a full 245 minutes of Nelson at his most eccentric! Continue reading

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Dracula, Dead and Loving It

Brooks Sucks!

The career of Mel Brooks continues to be a puzzle.

As a writer, he’s given us incredibly funny, and often touching material. His talent, whether acting in a dramatic role, cutting up in sketch comedy, or delivering stand-up routines, is undeniable. He’s been cited for possessing a sense of humor that is one of the sharpest on the planet.

As a producer, his Brooksfilms company has given us such classic entertainments as The Elephant Man, The Fly (1986) and Frances.

As a director, his love for film is clearly evident. He has a terrific knack for poking fun at a subject, while showing while never betraying his affection for it. In The Producers, he sent up classic show business musicals. In Blazing Saddles, he roasted the Western. In Young Frankenstein, he lampooned the classic horror films. And in High Anxiety, he needled the thrillers of Alfred Hitchcock. In all of these films, he created memorable characters, showed a deep appreciation for the history and conventions of his subject, and produced a memorable and riotously funny motion picture.

Dracula Dead and Loving It lives up to the tradition of these Brooks classics. Except for the funny part.

With all the current interest in vampires and vampire films, a proper satire of the sub-genre seems not only warranted but inevitable. Wes Craven’s Vampire in Brooklyn missed the target, but I had higher hopes for the Brooks’ project – especially considering his success with Young Frankenstein.

So what went wrong? All the proper elements seem to be in place – Brooks’ burlesque atmosphere grafted onto creepy gothic settings is a natural breeding ground for zany shenanigans. One could argue in favor of the rich black & white photography employed for Young Frankenstein, but since the more recent vampire films are included in the farce, color works just as well.

Much like that of Brooks’ previous bomb Robin Hood Men In Tights, the cast of comic veterans and fresh faces has a great time, particularly when sending up the affected British accents of Bram Stoker’s Dracula. The problem is that they’re largely wasted on the skimpy script – often, they’re left to stand around the cheap sets with nothing to do. Leslie Nielson swipes Martin Landeau’s notes on playing Bela Lugosi and doodles mischievously in the margins, but isn’t given a clue as to whether his Dracula is supposed to be hyping his villainous grandeur or simply an inept clod – the script contains both elements, but it’s a mismatch.

Where are the jokes? Why not send up Coppola’s presentation of diary readings – a coach riding along the top of a page, but plunging off the edge? Dr. Seward recording his karaoke practice over his phonograph diary? Howling wolves along the Borgo Pass chasing after a miniature chuck wagon? Renfield cracking open roach motels for a snack? A cameo by Christian Slater, popping up in various scenes to ask Dracula what his favorite color is? Instead of mining the rich comic territory, Brooks gives us not one, but two long unfunny dance scenes featuring doubles of Nielson and Amy Yasbeck.

Which is not to say that this is a movie completely without laughs. Harvey Korman intoning that, “Yes, we have Nosferatu!”, a luncheon with Renfield, Dracula’s busty gliding brides, frequent mistakes made in hypnosis technique – all are worthy of a delighted groan if not always a belly laugh. And the staking scene has been rightfully cited as one of Brooks’ all-time funniest.

But it’s just not enough. Even a hilarious scene won’t pull down the reaction it should if it’s preceded by one that drags on without a payoff. The timing is all off. Scenes wander without direction. Characters such as Anne Bancroft’s gypsy are given funny voices, but nothing funny to say with them. While it’s true that great comedy can be built up out of a flimsy premise – Chaplin did it in every one of his films – it takes a great deal of time and effort. Brooks seems to have printed the first take and left bad enough alone.

The larger issue here is that a comic maestro like Brooks has to know how bad this is – or has he been living too close to the pier to smell the rotten fish?

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The Crier on VHS

Sob Stories

Glynn Beard produced, directed and acts in this low budget thriller inspired the legend of La Llarona – the Crying Woman.

Estranged from his wife, the obsessed Beard visits an old witch to obtain a love potion to win her back. The witch gives him a perfume containing the tears of La Llarona. The potion works, and the happy couple invites her friends for a celebratory weekend at their California ranch. In between lengthy scenes of psychodrama, the Crying Woman begins to pick off the guests one by one. There’s a “surprise” ending, but the murders don’t make any sense. Continue reading

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GoldenEye

Bond is back – 007 strikes Gold again

007_1In the 1960s, James Bond movies represented the height of hipness and sophistication in pop entertainment. Sean Connery’s portrayal of Ian Fleming’s super secret agent appealed to just about everybody. Men wanted to be him. Women wanted to be with him. Conservatives saw him as a team player fighting the spread of communism. Swingers saw him as the ultimate embodiment of the Playboy philosophy. Continue reading

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