The Necro Files VHS

Sometimes Death won’t solve your problems

To quote Stan Marsh of South Park: “Dude, this is pretty fucked up right here.” This ultra-low budget effort from Todd Tjersland’s Threat Theatre video gore factory is one of the most twisted and wild features I’ve seen in a long while. For inspiration, Tjersland – along with co-writer Sammy Shapiro and director Matt Jaissle –  have gone beyond the Romero/Raimi splatter genre that usually drives these sort of projects. These guys are digging into the harder to find Japanese horror films like Evil Dead Trap.

A short synopsis should give you an idea of how nuts this is: A serial killer named Logan (Isaac Cooper, looking much like Tim Burton) is tracked down and shot by Detectives Sloane and Manners (Gary Browning & Steve Sheppard). Nine months later, a Satanic cult kidnaps Logan’s son (by one of his victims), and sacrifices it over his grave. Logan is re-animated as a gruesome sex maniac zombie, a ridiculously huge boner hanging out of his dress pants. With the zombie on a rampage, two dorky surviving Satanists realize they’ve screwed up royally and find a spell that’s supposed to summon a “janitor demon” to clean up their mess. Their spell resurrects Logan, Jr. as a giggling flying devil baby, out to hunt down zombie daddy and anyone else that gets in its way! Meanwhile, our two bad (acting) lieutenants – who have been filling their time drinking, drugging, and beating on punks – get back on the case when victims start piling up bearing Logan’s fingerprints. As everyone heads for a showdown, the killer zombie falls in love with a blow-up sex doll…..

Yep, you’re probably wondering why they couldn’t get Anthony Hopkins to be in this.

Though the subject matter is extremely grim and violent, this is just too cheesy to be seriously disturbing. In one scene, a baby is stabbed to death – but it’s very obvious it’s just a plastic doll. The acting is horrible and very funny. The supporting cast hides behind names like Dru Burymore and Anne R. Key.

Only show this to your least uptight friends, and be sure to draw the blinds – otherwise, it’s a must-see! Followed by Necro Files 2!

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