Short is 2 Good
Shot back in 1992, these shorts were made back before Nelson learned to sustain viewer interest for the length of an entire feature. Well, okay, so he still hasn’t learned that, but back then he could get to the point of the story in just a few minutes and still have plenty of time for some padding.
WEREWOLF VS. DRACULA
Appearing first as a rubber bat, Dracula (David Nelson) stalks the sunny suburb of Park Ridge, Illinois. A Guy (Nelson’s former boxing trainer Greg Ozimek) is unable to protect himself from the vampire with a toy gun, and is hypnotized by the Dark Prince’s plastic ring and passes out. The guy transforms into a werewolf and battles a
rubber snake. He hunts down Dracula, who runs away in terror (“Help me, Frankenstein! Help me!”). Eventually Drac finds some guts and stands his ground, engaging in fisticuffs with the werewolf that end in a gory and ridiculous finale. 11m.
DRACULA FROM SPACE
A tinfoil pie plate saucer lands in Park Ridge, bringing a space vampire to Earth. Local do-gooder Paul Pannick (as himself) opens fire on the monster with a toy pistol, but it has no efffect, so he calls in his pal The Rock to help. The Rambo-esque Nelson brings more toy weapons to bear on the alien, but can’t save Paul from getting bit. Of course, it all comes down to hand-to-hand combat. 13m.
FRANKENSTEIN MEETS JOHN “PAIN’ FAKEY”
One of Nelson’s oddest movies, this short features Nelson as a villainous John Wayne Gacy type that preys on innocent monsters in the Chicago suburbs. A boozing Fakey cruises the neighborhood and accosts Frankenstein (Mike Johnson, unintelligible beneath his rubber mask). Fakey manages to seduce the monster back to his bungalow with an offer of $1.25 an hour to be in his monster movie (which is more than Nelson ever paid anyone). Frankenstein is tricked into a pair of Fakey’s handcuffs and is hauled down to the crawlspace. He starts to suspect that something is amiss. 16m.
SADDAMN INSANE PIGS OUT
Five minutes or so of Nelson raving in his Saddam mask and noshing on pizza introduces his fetish for eating scenes.
DOCTOR JOHNSON MEETS THE WEREWOLF
Nelson visits the smoking, drinking Dr. Johnson (Mike Johnson) in his basement office. The mad doctor injects the patient with his werewolf serum, but pays for transgressing in God’s domain. 4.5 m.
THE GIANT FLY
Scientist Nelson’s experiments go awry, resulting in a terrifying housefly the size of a squirrel! It escapes the basement lab and attacks the Nelson family, who fight back with toy guns and brooms! 5m.
STUDIO 205 DEMOLITION
(aka: Demolition Studio 205) In 1994, the Nelsons moved to Des Plaines and their former home and garage, where “the Rock” shot many of his movies, was torn down. Nelson catches the action on tape. 4m.
Nelson fills up the tape by interspersing promo footage between shorts, trailers for his other tapes such as Conrad Brooks vs. the Werewolf and Vampire Woman, and footage of some of his television appearances.