Eyes Wide Shut

Erotic Sex Dreams

Guest Review by Kelly Cutler
The thin line between reality and fantasy becomes even thinner in Stanley Kubrick’s final cinematic journey, Eyes Wide Shut. The director, who died just 4 days after the film’s completion had the idea for the film in the works for nearly 30 years. On and off screen duo Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman bring a world of passion, temptation, and desire too close to the surface for comfort. Kubrick’s 2 hour 39 minute voyage to the dark side and back, is based on the 1926 novella Traumnovelle, by Viennese author Arthur Schnitzler, incidentally a close pal to Sigmund Freud. Kubrick and screenwriter Frederick Raphael closely adapted the screenplay in order to replicate the 1920’s London setting to an updated 1990’s Manhattan setting. Continue reading

Posted in Movie, Review | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Parasite DVD

Monsters unleeched

They say that when life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. Demi Moore is an actress who has seen her share of lemons throughout her career. After all, this is the actress who saw the scripts for St. Elmo’s Fire, Nothing But TroubleDisclosure and The Juror and said “Yes! This is the project I want to get involved with!” Demi should have learned something from this early training film from Embassy Pictures, Charles Band’s pre-Full Moon company from the days when you could still get a crappy little sci-fi/horror film distributed to theaters, rather than direct-to-video. Continue reading

Posted in DVD, Movie, Review | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Dividing Hour VHS

Actually more like an hour and a half

This independent feature is a little bit Reservoir Dogs, a little bit Carnival of Souls, and a little bit o’ soul thrown in.

Four bickering slackers get together to rob a bank, then head for Canada. On the way, they have an accident with the getaway car and end up seeking help at an old farmhouse. But there’s something strange about the natives, something stranger lurking in the woods, and something really strange about the refrigerator.

Like Ed Wood, Jose Mojica Marins and Orson Welles before him, Mike Prosser writes, directs, produces and turns in a compelling performance as the leader of the gang of four. He even shaves his beard and cuts his hair on camera!

It has next to no budget, but it doesn’t look that way, thanks mostly to Prosser’s and DP Jeff Yarnall’s creative hands and the technical know-how that makes cheap video look quite a bit better. There’s also some very effective and imaginative special effects thrown in. The relatively simple plot helps keep costs in check – just like so many successful first features set in remote houses and cabins (Night of the Living Dead, Blair Witch Project, Evil Dead. The entire cast turns in credible performances, and it has the feel of a professional project all the way through.

Whereas a few years ago, makers of independent low budget horror films were more concerned with finding females willing to wear nothing but blood in front of a camcorder, it’s nice to see a trend toward something more satisfying to horror fans everywhere.

Posted in Review, VHS | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me

1969 Okay

Unfrozen superspy leftover Powers makes his second appearance on the screen amid a deafening carnival of hype which leads one to believe that a let-down is inevitable. But our man Mike Myers saves the world again.

Though many critics are doing a poo-poo dance on it, this is a sequel that delivers laughs by the carload – and as I’ve stated before: Funny Rules. Sure, the initial film had a bit of something to say about comparing the values of different decades – and Austin grew as a character over the course of the film – but what made it a hit was that it made people laugh.

Picking up where AP1 left off, we find Austin on his honeymoon with Elizabeth Hurley interrupted yet again by an assassination attempt by a minion of Dr. Evil, which leaves Austin without a wife. He then grieves for about 4 seconds before cavorting about wildly in the nude. Meanwhile, Dr. Evil returns from his escape into orbit and hatches another evil plan – a journey back in time to 1969 to threaten the Earth with a giant laser from his base on the moon. But first he sends his Scot henchman Fat Bastard to steal “mojo” from the frozen Powers. Our hero pursues Evil through time with his own “time machine”, teaming up with American spy Felicity Shagwell (yummy Heather Graham).

If this sounds silly to you – good! Silly is the series’ main strength, followed by visual invention and a healthy willingness to be stupid.

AP2 recycles many of the same routines that grew spontaneously on the set of its predecessor. Some of these fall a bit flat (Dr. Evil again “shushes” his not quite as evil son Scott), but the rest show fresh invention and work very well. Myers’ new character Fat Bastard – a further indulgence of his fixation on Britons which saw early work on SNL – outgrosses even the grossest humor of the Farrelly brothers, but he’s just too pitifully repellent to garner the intended degree of amusement. But the film more than makes up for these impediments with a parade of hilarious bits: the screeching Frau Farbissina (Mindy Sterling), Robe Lowe’s dead-on impression of Robert Wagner, another melee on Springer, Shagwell and Powers in matching bikinis;  – and above all (so to speak), Dr. Evil’s pint-size clone, “Mini-me” (Verne Troyer), whose antics just about steal the show.

Posted in Movie, Review | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Black Mask

Jet Black

When Jackie Chan finally became a star in America, there was a rush to retool and release his back catalogue, with mixed results. Now that his role in Lethal Weapon 4 has raised awareness of Jet Li, we can expect the same treatment of his old features.

This is the first, although it’s atypical of the usual Jet picture. It’s a sci-fi action fest that has Jet playing a former member of a group of super-soldiers called 701 Squad, who left the team when they became too ruthless for his tastes. He goes into hiding and takes a job as a mild-mannered librarian. However, his friendship with police detective Lau Ching-Wan draws him back into opposition with 701. The Squad is wiping out drug lords in a complicated plan to earn a serum said to cure a side effect of the super-soldier formula (they only have a few years to live). Not wanting to expose his new identity, Li dons a mask and black uniform to fight the 701, which leads to inevitable comparisons with the Green Hornet’s sidekick Kato.

Though most Jet Li films are more akin to old fashioned Westerns with fantastic martial arts (as in the Once Upon A Time in China series), this one has a much harder edge and is full of blood & guts, despite being cut to earn an R rating. The super-soldiers are all super-strong and near impervious to pain, which means they get shot, stabbed, and sliced up numerous times and still come back to dish out the same. Scenes in which the disguised Li kidnaps his librarian girlfriend in order to protect her have a definite bondage theme. The kung fu, though enhanced by wirework, is terrific, directed with campy finesse by Daniel Lee.

I’ve heard other critics complain of bad dubbing in this film, but most people think of all dubbing as “bad”. This film actually has better dubbing than most I’ve seen, with mouth movement closely matching dialogue, and some of the actors dub their own voices.

Posted in Movie, Review | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Mummy

Ancient Tomb, Shallow Grave

A strange twist of fate, but I like it. For years, Universal has been considering a remake of the classic Boris Karloff gothic horror romance, but couldn’t figure out what to do with it. Who’d ever think of remaking this story as a action horror comedy? Continue reading

Posted in Movie, Review | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Faces of Gore VHS

Japan’s bloodiest home videos

Before Todd Tjersland released The Necro Files, one of the most fucked up horror flicks I’ve ever seen, the twisted auteur launched his video career with this shockumentary, which has spawned several sequels. Freely acknowledging its debt to the Faces of Death series, it presents only the most gruesome footage of crime scene carnage, suicides, and bloody car accidents, often including horrific close-ups.

Presentation is preceded by it’s own trailer, then a mocking warning to the viewer that introduces Dr. Vincent Van Gore (from the “American Institute of Gorenology”), who bears a resemblance to a young David Carradine in a lab coat, and stiffly hosts the clips from graveyard locations. Van Gore is played by Steve Sheppard.

The first section presents footage from the aftermath of motorcycle, train, car and plane accidents. The second shows victims of suicide by hanging, electrocution, immolation, drowning, and shotgun. The third is dedicated to murder, mostly by handguns and connected to other crimes. A “contract killer” interview has both a voiceover translation in Japanese and mock English subtitles.

In the final section, little more than self-serving padding, the documentary footage is compared to gore in a recent “Hollywood production”: Tjersland’s own The Necro Files.

The clips, almost all from Japan, appear to have come from raw coroner’s office and news camera footage.

The footage presented unadorned would be shocking enough. But Tjersland also saw fit to prod and annoy fans of this kind of tape by adding condescending and insulting narration, designed to offend and shame everyone who views it at some point. With his snotty fake accent, he sounds a great deal like Ray Sager in Herschell Gordon Lewis’ The Wizard of Gore.

Surveying the scene of a collision between a passenger train and a jet airliner, Tjersland intones mockingly, “Only a small portion managed to escape alive, but these fortunate few were badly burned, and had to live out the rest of their lives as deformed freaks who no one would love.” He often goes out of his way to blame the victims for their own misfortune, in true drivers’ educational film fashion.

But even Tjersland shuts up for the saddest cases, letting the footage run without comment.

Also added to the silent footage are sound effects and corny music. It’s impossible to know whether the facts presented in each case are accurate, or just made up. However, the tape bears the usual “characters and events portrayed in this film are entirely fictional” coda.

Obviously, not for all tastes. In fact, no taste whatsoever. Recommended for gore hounds only.

Posted in Review, VHS | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

ElectroBabe and DynaChick

ebdc01Spand-X-Women

In the mid-1970s, Sid & Marty Krofft were kings of Saturday morning TV. Their animated and live-action shows were top rated (as was their prime time Donny & Marie Show). Noting the popularity of superhero shows like Shazam! at the time, they added a segment to their Krofft Supershow called “Electra Woman and Dyna Girl” – which eventually spun off into a separate series. The show was moderately popular with kids, but very popular with their older brothers. Especially with those with a fetish for spandex, as each show featured stars Deidre Hall and Judy Strangis cavorting about in tight super-outfits. Continue reading

Posted in Review, VHS | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Devil Girls

Wood Rises Again

Mismatched scenes, loads of stock footage, cheap library music, bad acting – all are the hallmarks of the work of one of cinema’s most unique visionaries. Gotta hand it to independent writer/director Andre Perkowski. Nobody in the world has purposely set out to imitate the legendary Ed Wood, Jr. Until now. Perkowski seeks to not only revive the spirit of Wood, he plans to keep him around for awhile.

Devil Girls is just the first of a projected trilogy of films based on Wood stories. This was one of the more successful of the scores of pulp novels Ed churned out in between porn flick assignments in the ’60s and ’70s, while always hoping to make some kind of Hollywood comeback. The idea is that the films are supposed to look as if Wood made them himself, in the style of his 1950s psychotronic classics. Though the novel was written in the mid-’60s, that style is still appropriate, since Wood was always a bit old fashioned in his tastes, even when writing his most fetishistic hard core porn.

Perkowski uses Woods familiar narrator Criswell (Rob Gorden, in a lame imitation) to set the scene, appearing from silhouette just like in Plan 9. While the novel was as gritty a slice of JD fiction as you were likely to find in paperback at the time, Perkowski wraps the tale in the cautionary language of roadshow exploitation. The streets of Chicago look great on film, but are unconvincing standing in for the novel’s Texas border town.

Actually, the girl gang of the title – a trio known as The Chicks – is often quite subordinate to the action, due to the large cast of characters. Also, the girls may be bad, but their actions are often overshadowed by those of their male companions. Rhoda (Katie Dugan) and Babs (Fanny Madison) are barely under the control of The Chicks’ current leader, a wild-eyed junkie named Dee (Jody-Anne Martin). Dee is dependent on her boyfriend Lark (Mike Cooney) for heroin. Lark, in turn, has The Chicks at his command for whatever dirty job he has in mind, including making Dee the victim of torture dished out by his brothel of sadistic whores.

But Lark is none too happy with The Chicks at the moment. Recently, they brought on undue attention by killing their teacher, and added more fuel to the fire by burning the substitute’s car. The Chicks’ boyfriends Lonnie and Rick (Victor Grenata & Nate Sands) go over the top by trying to kill the substitute Miss O’Hara (Arlene Cooney) in a daredevil car wreck. The Chicks are ordered to eliminate the boys, framing them for all the crimes and blowing them up in a cabin. This leaves Lark free to plan a big job, smuggling loads of heroin across the border.

While all this is going on Sheriff Buck Rhodes (Paul Hofmann) is left to drink hooch, rant about automation, and chase his tail. The only friends he has on the wrong side of town are the Reverend Steele (David Hayes, whose scenes are all cut in) and grill owner Jockey (Kevin Marquette, in a role I’d always imagined as made for Mickey Rooney). Jockey may only run a cheap hash joint, but he refuses to exploit the local kids’ trust in him by letting pushers like Claude (Keith Heimpel) peddle their wares in his place. When things get rough, Jockey’s “chief cook and bottle washer” Lobo (Lobo) steps in to throw Claude through a window. This takes place, like much of the action scenes, discretely off screen.

This illustrates the main flaw of Devil Girls: it’s even cheaper than any film Wood ever made (with the possible exception of Take It Out In Trade). Wood always sought to get at least competent technical people, notably cinematographer William C. Thompson, who was able to do quite a bit with what he was given. Perkowski, who says Devil Girls cost about $500 to make, shot on digital video with an inexperienced crew. Unlike Wood’s static-but-well-composed style, Perkowski’s camera is hand-held for most of the movie. Afterwards, the film was transferred to black & white, then submitted to an overzealous “wash” which added dust, scratches and annoying flutter to appear aged. As it turns out, the effect is too distracting and should’ve been abandoned.

However, considering the budget, and the difficulty of adapting the novel, it’s not bad. The loose plot, which wanders away from the girls too often, comes together with the appearance of Lila (Sandra Delgado), Rhoda’s murderous sister who busts out of jail to heat up the action. Lila’s the only one of the girls who can stand up to Lark, and her menace is enjoyable. Other highlight performances are that of Marquette, whose heroic chemistry with Lobo is entertaining, and Mike Cooney, who makes Lark even more repellent than Wood could write him.

For what it’s worth, Perkowski is well aware of the flaws in, and has taken steps to correct them for his nearly-completed The Vampire’s Tomb (also shot in Chicago). Though Wood is better known now than he’s ever been in the past, the guy had plenty more stories in him that would make… interesting films. I can’t wait to see what Perkowski will bring us next.

Posted in Review, VHS | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Devil Ant

The First Lady Meets the Last Filmmaker

David “the Rock” Nelson is back with another full-length feature. Wait! Don’t be too alarmed – it’s not a 4-hour suckathon like Vampire Woman, just a normal 109 minutes. Continue reading

Posted in Movie, Review, VHS | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment